Mindful Voice Integration
Managing Moments on Life's Journey
Mindfulness tips for Christmas
It strikes me as I work with clients and reflect on my own life that we at times see the family just as a place for rest and respite rather than a central part in our lives.
The more time we spend at work the fewer ‘bonus’ or feel good points we get through family time. However at the same time we have big expectations of how family life should be and how the family should make us feel.
These expectations are highlighted during Christmas time, which is a time rich with ideas of how things ‘ought’ to be.
One year I was alone during the Christmas days and what I realised was that as long as I did not get caught up in my story/expectations, I was fine. When I stayed present and grateful for the time off; great food, lovely garden, good books etc. then all was well. The moment my mind went to: ‘everybody else is having fun now, everybody else is with family and loved ones’ the experience became a comparative one, comparing my perception of reality with expectations; rather than just experiencing what was – which was actually just fine.
So here are some tips for staying with what 'is' rather than getting caught in expectations or old relationship patterns.
Watch out for:
- ‘Your expectations of Christmas’; expectations around how people may behave towards us, how we will behave towards them or just how Christmas 'ought' to be.
- Forgetting to be mindful
- Not exercising
- Over eating
Attitude:
1. Invite gratitude into your life regularly. Appreciate the amazing journey that the produce and gifts have taken in order to land before you. A piece of chocolate for instance involves, grass, cows, milk, sun, cocoa, tending to the tree, picking, rain, earth, transport, manufacturing, packaging, display, marketing, selling, further transport and someone also earned the money for the chocolate. Considering such complexity behind all things easily brings out gratitude, humility through insignificance and some understanding of our profound interconnectedness.
2. Remember you are in charge, Christmas is not just some steam train that you are on, it can really be anything, it could be a day of fasting, a day of dancing, a day of anything that you would like. So unravel the traditional notions of how it ‘ought’ to be.
3. A shift of focus from expectations could be to simply make Christmas about being kind to ourselves and others.
Mindfulness practice:
1. Stay connected to the body. Take time for noticing the breath and checking in with the body.
2. Regularly do the check in using RAIN. Do this at the same time every day or link it into a thing that you do every day for instance showering
RAIN
- Recognition - the willingness to see what really is occurring. It is the antithesis of denial.
- Allowing - the willingness to accept the truth of how things are.
- Investigation -the willingness look deeply into the experience.
- Non-identification - the willingness not to create an identity as a result of our experience, i.e. “I’m a loser” or “I’m a victim'.
3. Remember that feelings are just feelings, thoughts are just thoughts – they do not represent any final truth about you, your life nor the world.
4. Practice mindful eating by ensuring that every day still starts with a healthy breakfast. Ensure that you eat salad and fruit. Chew thoroughly. Close your eyes and notice the texture, taste and smell of the food. …..Slow eating down…
Rest, enjoy, be kind to yourself and others and the rest is superfluous!
With love
Charlotte
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